PERU THE ABSURD, PART 2 (THE FINALE)

AFTER SEEING EVERYTHING ONE COULD APPRECIATE BEHIND THE HANDLEBARS OF A MOTORCYCLE, WE ACCEPTED HANDSOME OFFERS TO SELL OUR MOTORCYCLES AND SEE THE REST OF PERU BY HORSEBACK AND ON SMELLY PERUVIAN BUSES BEFORE HEADING HOME.

MONDAY, AUGUST 5TH – DAY 61 – HUANUCO, PERU – HUANCAYO, PERU

We woke up the next morning slowly. Around 10am we were back on the road towards the next major city about 210 miles south. The road went to 13,500 feet and stayed there for about two hours and then ever so slowly descended to Huancayo (10,500 feet).

At some point during the ride I looked down and saw my left boot covered in dark liquid. Not good. It turned out that the fork seal on my left front suspension had failed. It wasn’t incredibly urgent but I’d have to take care of it when we arrived in the next city.

Arriving in Huancayo. A new development. Mac’s motorcycle randomly died twice while idling at a stoplight. We stopped at the first legit looking motorcycle dealership we saw to ask about my fork seal. I got some good leads about good motorcycle shops in the area and when we got back on our motorcycles, Mac’s wouldn’t even turn over. We pulled the spark plugs, and to our horror, the rear cylinder was completely full of radiator fluid. Meaning, most likely, a head gasket had failed and it would have to be replaced…That’s a BIG problem. After consulting our shop manual briefly to see how feasible it would be for us to take off the top end ourselves, we realized it would require the entire engine to be removed from the motorcycle. Not a good idea without access to more tools, space and some mechanical help. Definitely need to find a shop now.

I left Mac and Chase to find a shop and by the time I got back the motorcycle dealership helped Mac get the motorcycle started…good news. The problem obviously wasn’t fixed though, but we did manage to get Mac’s motorcycle the 6 blocks further down the street to a well-recommended mechanic. Within 2 hours of arriving at the shop, Edward (our new mechanic) had removed the engine from the motorcycle, and had removed the head and the gaskets from the motor. Incredible. In the meantime, Chase was feeling extremely terrible and went to a cheap hotel next door to rest. We’re blaming the dirty fat meat man and his rice.

Tomorrow we’d have to go find the right fork seals for my bike and get a new head gasket fabricated. But for now we were just in awe of the fact that Mac’s motorcycle decided to fail while we were in a city AND in front of a motorcycle dealership nonetheless. The odds were 1 in 100. But we’d been beating the odds since this trip started. 🙂

Leaving Huanaco
Leaving Huanaco
On our way up the mountain
On our way up the mountain

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Chasing Llamas
Chasing Llamas
Flat plains at 13,000+ feet. The Peruvian altiplano.
Flat plains at 13,000+ feet. The Peruvian altiplano.
This is the dirty fat meat man that got Chase and I sick. Here he is cooking Pachamanca (lamb,chicken, and pork cooked with hot rocks). When I saw this, I thought to myself, “that looks like a festering pile of disease and deliciousness, I’ll just get something else” what I should have thought was “that looks like a festering pile of disease and deliciousness, this guy probably cooks everything with the same level of hygiene, let’s go somewhere else.”
This is the dirty fat meat man that got Chase and I sick. Here he is cooking Pachamanca (lamb,chicken, and pork cooked with hot rocks). When I saw this, I thought to myself, “that looks like a festering pile of disease and deliciousness, I’ll just get something else” what I should have thought was “that looks like a festering pile of disease and deliciousness, this guy probably cooks everything with the same level of hygiene, let’s go somewhere else.”
This is what we ended up ordering. Arroz Chaufa. (fried rice). Apparently not any healthier.
This is what we ended up ordering. Arroz Chaufa. (fried rice). Apparently not any healthier.
Heading down the mountain
Heading down the mountain

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Moments after discovering water in Mac's cylinder.
Moments after discovering water in Mac’s cylinder.
This was Chase's home for 48 hours.
This was Chase’s home for 48 hours.
Engine out! So far so good.
Engine out! So far so good.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 6TH – DAY 62 – HUANCAYO, PERU

The next morning Chase was totally out of commission with stomach/intestine problems and I woke up feeling pretty terrible as well. Luckily, Mac was pretty much unscathed. During the course of the day I pulled my front left suspension fork and we managed to get a new fork seal and the new head gasket for Mac’s bike fabricated. And then something else interesting happened.

Two customers from the shop saw the motorcycles and asked about buying them. At this point Chase only had about 10 days left before he had to be back home. This could be a good option, considering Chase was also on his deathbed thanks to the dirty-fat-meat-man. With a little bit of price negotiation we settled on $2200 ($100 more than what Chase paid for it 4 months and 9,000+ miles earlier). Within 1 hour Juan (the buyer) came back with $2200 in crisp United States tender. Success.

Both customers were practically begging me to sell my bike but I wasn’t ready to end the trip. Not Yet! But then, Jose (customer #2) offered me and Mac $4800 for our bikes. And with the condition that we wouldn’t sell them until the 22nd of August after we’d finished journeying through Peru and Bolivia. He gave us a $75 deposit and we bought our plane tickets home out of Lima, Peru. Satisfied with the price for the bikes, the savings we’d get from flying out of Lima instead of further south, and the reliability of the sale/seller ($75 deposit) we went to bed content. Little did we know, our situation would soon improve.

Replacing the fork seal on my suspension. Even more fun when you're sick.
Replacing the fork seal on my suspension. Even more fun when you’re sick.
Chase mustered up the strength to leave his bed and say goodbye to his baby.
Chase mustered up the strength to leave his bed and say goodbye to his baby.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7TH – DAY 63 – HUANCAYO, PERU

Edward, our incredible mechanic, stayed up all night putting the motorcycle back together and fabricating several parts that had reached their limit so we could get on the road that day. By 11 am both motorcycles were road worthy. As we were packing up our stuff we were surprised by more visitors – Juan (the guy who bought Chase’s bike) and his father, Raul.  Raul immediately said he wanted to buy both mine and Mac’s bike. Our conversation went like this…

Raul – I want to buy both motorcycles.

Me – Oh sorry, we already sold them and received a deposit for them.

Raul – What if I pay you more?

Me – No, I don’t really care. We already settled $4800 for both bikes. It’s already done.

Raul – I’ll pay you $6000 for both today.

Me – Oh…. Let me talk to Mac…

It was an offer nearly impossible to refuse. I paid only $1950 for my bike and Mac paid $2500. $1050 and $500 gains respectively. This could mean money for motorcycles when we got back home and for me that was a THIRD of the cost of the entire trip… Both of us were super conflicted but it just made sense to take the offer and hit our last great destination (Machu Picchu) in bus. Again, within just an hour Juan’s Dad returned with $6000 in crisp United States tender. It was an extremely sad moment for us, but Juan and his father sweetened it for us. They offered to host us in their friend’s hacienda in the city that night and take us to their hacienda out in the mountains the next day to ride horses and shoot guns. Can’t turn that down either.

We paid our beloved mechanic, Edward, about $100 with a small tip for everything he had done for us and we removed our personal belongings from our motorcycles. Just a couple hours earlier we were within 5 minutes of leaving Huancayo to continue the journey south. Now we were selling our motorcycles. A dramatic change of plans.

We left Jose (original buyer) his $75 deposit with an apology and then Father and son (Juan and Raul) treated us to lunch and then took us back to their hacienda.

This was pretty much the first time I had eaten in 40 hours (due to stomach problems) and it didn’t sit well. It was a constant downer for the rest of the day. Everyone in Latin America always has his or her own remedy for stomach problems. Juan’s father gave me a “cane drink”. I assumed that was just a way of saying something with sugar. After the first big gulp, the intense, hot burning in my throat was an immediate indication that I had understood wrong. Haha.

At the hacienda we got to meet all the family and friends. We watched some of their off-road videos they had filmed out in the jungle and we got the whole tour of the horse stables and the house. We were put in our own fur-coat-decorated guesthouse.

For half a second it occurred to us maybe they had given us the $6000 just to take us back to their home, kill us and then take their money back with our motorcycles too. I think for Americans it’s harder to comprehend BUT, this is Latin America. Here, hospitality is such a ridiculously well-refined art that it just looks suspicious to us. But I DO love it!

Edward, our master mechanic.
Edward, our master mechanic.
Unpacking
Unpacking
Raul on the left and Juan on the right. The father and son that bought all three of our motorcycles.
Raul on the left and Juan on the right. The father and son that bought all three of our motorcycles.
The last time we saw our motorcycles. May your new owners love you as much as your last ones!
The last time we saw our motorcycles. May your new owners love you as much as your last ones!

THURSDAY, AUGUST 8TH – DAY 64 – HUANCAYO, PERU – TAYACAJA, PERU

The next day we woke up at sunrise and then Raul and one of his ranch hands (Tony) were there ready to take us to the family Hacienda in the mountains. For some reason, I ended up driving their 4×4 decked-out Toyota Landcruiser (still don’t know why, but i’m not complaining haha). The road to their Hacienda was insane. Almost 6 hours long along a dirt 2-track road hugging a sheer wall on one side and a cliff on the other. 80% of the ride was switchbacks up and down the Andes mountainside. The route was littered with construction stops, racing semis and a couple rock slides that we had to navigate across.

We arrived at the Hacienda before dark with time to go visit some nearby hot springs. We came back, ate dinner prepared by Raul’s wife on a wood stove, and then Raul showed us into his prized horseback saddle room. We each picked our favorite silver-plated saddle for the next day’s activities and went to bed.

SIDE NOTE: THE ROAD TO THE HACIENDA & THE KENNEDYS OF HUANCAYO
Raul’s family was given a HUGE parcel of land (Hacienda) several generations back as a gift from the government. The family used the land to mine silver and lead in the mountains and through their mining have made their family fortune. The 6-hour dirt road was made by none other than Raul himself from 1980 to 1993. Until then, all traveling to this area had to be done on horseback. The road opened up a lot of opportunities not just for Raul and his family but all the villages he connected with the road. During our trip, we had to stop several times for random errands and to say hello to people. Every time we stopped anywhere, everybody knew Raul and called him ‘uncle’. Unsurprisingly, Raul’s family is very well integrated in the government system in Huancayo (380,000 people). Two of his brothers were Mayors and another brother is currently a congressman.

Arriving in the "grand canyon" of Peru in style.
Arriving in the “grand canyon” of Peru in style.
One of our many pit stops.
One of our many pit stops.
This is looking across the canyon at the same road we were on. Hopefully this picture can give you a good idea of just how steep this mountain was.
This is looking across the canyon at the same road we were on. Hopefully this picture can give you a good idea of just how steep this mountain was.
This is looking down from the window of the car..
This is looking down from the window of the car..
This is a pretty good pic showing just how crazy/vertical this road was. The cliff on the right is just as steep as the wall on the left
This is a pretty good pic showing just how crazy/vertical this road was. The cliff on the right is just as steep as the wall on the left
Our sick wip.
Our sick wip.
Arriving at the Hacienda
Arriving at the Hacienda
The view from the Hacienda
The view from the Hacienda
The Robertson brothers enjoying the hot springs
The Robertson brothers enjoying the hot springs
Dinner at the Hacienda
Dinner at the Hacienda
Our sleeping accommodations. It was a super old house with a lot of history.
Our sleeping accommodations. It was a super old house with a lot of history.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 9TH – DAY 65 – TAYACAJA, PERU – HUANCAYO, PERU

The next morning we woke up before 6am and headed up the mountain to mount our horses: Rondon, Blanca Nieves and Chui (AKA Seabiscuit, Shadowfax and Black Beauty). Raul dropped us off with Reuben, one of the native farmers of the area, and his family for what he promised would be a great morning ride. Reuben’s wife prepared us a breakfast of GIANT corn, rice and lentils over a wood stove and then we got on our way further up the mountain. It was a 4-hour round trip to the top of the mountain to see some ancient ruins perched right at the tallest point (13,000 feet).

The horses were short and stout but for the most part were totally fine climbing up rocky 45-degree angle mountainside even at 13,000 feet. Our journey back down the mountain did include one exciting moment. Chase fell over the handlebars (reigns) for the second time since leaving California. In an attempt to beat Mac in a little race, his horse hit the brakes before tumbling down a little ledge and Chase ended up doing a front flip onto the ground and into a bush. Good thing we weren’t on a cliff… Me and Mac were cracking up.

When we came back, Reuben’s wife fed us chicken soup and Raul showed up to take us back to Huancayo so we could catch our bus to Cusco, Peru. During our conversation they chuckled at us, saying we were the “first tourists.” I have a hard time believing that we were the first tourists to visit the ruins but it very well could be true..

We then got back in the Toyota and headed back to Huancayo. At the bottom of the canyon I checked our altitude. 6500 feet. In other words from the river at the bottom to the top of the canyon/mountaintop it was 6600 feet and so steep you wouldn’t be able to walk down it straight (I think that beats the grand canyon, right?). It’s difficult to really show in pictures or describe how gnarly the whole canyon was. If this were in the US, it’d be a national park before you could say “taco.”

Our trip to Huancayo got a little more exciting when we ran out of gas away from any civilization and had to coast down the hill for 15 minutes before we could get help. We arrived in hauncayo around 8 but there were no more buses leaving so we spent the night with Raul at his home one more night.

Breakfast with Reuben. Rice, BIG CORN, and lentils.
Breakfast with Reuben. Rice, BIG CORN, and lentils.
Reuben and his family just outside his home.
Reuben and his family just outside his home.
Shadowfax, lord of the horses. This is the first time we saw Mac's horse and we were in awe as it stood there on the top of this crest... haha Then it got closer...
Shadowfax, lord of the horses. This is the first time we saw Mac’s horse and we were in awe as it stood there on the top of this crest… haha Then it got closer…
Seabiscuit!
Seabiscuit!
Mac having the time of his life.
Mac having the time of his life.
The three conquistadors.
The three conquistadors.
These horses were small but BUFF!
These horses were small but BUFF!
Grazing in the ruins
Grazing in the ruins
The top of the mountain among the ruins.
The top of the mountain among the ruins.
At the top of the mountain standing on the ruins.
At the top of the mountain standing on the ruins.
This is the bush Chase ended up doing a front-flip through. He came from the left and torpedoed to where he's standing now.
This is the bush Chase ended up doing a front-flip through. He came from the left and torpedoed to where he’s standing now.
Driving back to Huancayo and running out of gas at sunset.
Driving back to Huancayo and running out of gas at sunset.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 10TH – SATURDAY, AUGUST 17th – DAY 66-73 – HUANCAYO, PERU – MACHU PICCHU – HOME

At this point on our trip we no longer had motorcycles and I’m afraid the trip got a lot less exciting so I’ll be brief.

We only had one more place we really wanted to get to. Machu Picchu. We were a couple days of bus rides away and at first we were somewhat excited to “relax” on a bus for the first time on the trip.

For about 5-10% of my riding time (since leaving California) I’d say I was slightly jealous of all the comfortable passengers on board the buses we passed. No rain, no cold, no stress of mechanical failure, no diesel smoke in my face, less threat of crashing and dying. BUT after an hour on bus I no longer felt any jealousy whatsoever. Traveling in bus was terrible, winding bumpy roads made us all extremely uncomfortable the entire time. Loud obnoxious Peruvian music was blaring. We drove slower and we stopped more. I felt like I was on the “island fever” again crossing the Caribbean. And for some reason we all felt more exhausted traveling on bus than on motorcycle. I feel both sorry for people that have only traveled around South America on buses and sorry for myself because I will never be able to get on a bus again without miserably contemplating how much better it is on a motorcycle.

After a couple days of misery on bus and taxi we made it to within 6 miles of Machu Picchu. Everything in and around Machu Picchu is designed to steal money from rich people. We aren’t rich people so we had to take the long, cheap and more adventurous way to Machu Picchu. It was 9pm and we found ourselves at the base of Machu Picchu along a river and some railroad tracks. We were 6 miles away from the nearest civilization but lucky for us we were able to get a couple guides: 2 dogs. When the taxi dude dropped us off he pointed at some dogs and said, “give them some bread or something and they’ll take you to Machu Picchu.” haha ok… So there we were for 2 1/2 hours in the middle of the night, guided by 2 dogs, walking under the southern hemisphere stars and a huge black abyss that we knew was the mountain where Machu Picchu is perched (Wayna Picchu). We ended up getting into Aguas Calientes (the town at the bottom of Machu Picchu) around midnight.

The next day we took the bus up 50 switchbacks of dirt road to Machu Picchu and checked out the ruins. Very cool stuff. BUT, in my opinion a little too heavily regulated and touristy. We no longer felt like explorers but fellow disneyland goers. Mac got the whistle blown on him a bunch for walking where he wasn’t supposed to. We spent a few hours checking out the ruins, took the postcard photo and then headed…HOME.

One 6-mile hike, two 20-minute taxi rides, one 5-hour van ride, a 22-hour bus ride, and 18 hours of flights later we arrived safe and sound in San Diego airport. It had been 73 days and more than 10,000 miles since Chase and I had left California.

It feels pretty good to be home.

This is what it's like to travel on bus. Instead of hours of bike maintenance. Hours of waiting.
This is what it’s like to travel on bus. Instead of hours of bike maintenance. Hours of waiting.
We love buses...
We love buses…
Coming into Cusco, Peru
Coming into Cusco, Peru
The streets of Cusco
The streets of Cusco
Lots of waiting and chilling.
Lots of waiting and chilling.
Part of the road to Machu Picchu. We were agonizing imagining how much fun these roads would have been on motorcycle.
Part of the road to Machu Picchu. We were agonizing imagining how much fun these roads would have been on motorcycle.
On our way to Aguas Calientes guided by dog!
On our way to Aguas Calientes guided by dog!
Sketchy bridge crossings at night.
Sketchy bridge crossings at night.
Sketchy tunnel crossings. Thankfully no trains came while crossing through these things.
Sketchy tunnel crossings. Thankfully no trains came while crossing through these things.
Arriving in Aguas Calientes at midnight trying to find a cheap place to stay the night.
Arriving in Aguas Calientes at midnight trying to find a cheap place to stay the night.

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Llamas and Machu Picchu. Yes please.
Llamas and Machu Picchu. Yes please.

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The side of Machu Picchu you don't usually see.
The side of Machu Picchu you don’t usually see.
The "postcard" Machu Picchu shot.
The “postcard” Machu Picchu shot.
We found one of our guide dogs up the hill at Machu Picchu the next day... he looked dead. We did give him some of our sandwhiches, so... he should have been alright? Either way, he was a good dog!
We found one of our guide dogs up the hill at Machu Picchu the next day… he looked dead. We did give him some of our sandwhiches, so… he should have been alright? Either way, he was a good dog!
On our way back, the same way we came the night before.
On our way back, the same way we came the night before.

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Exploring some of the river that flows below Machu Picchu.
Exploring some of the river that flows below Machu Picchu.
It was interesting to see everything we had walked by during the night. I recommend both the night and day hike!
It was interesting to see everything we had walked by during the night. I recommend both the night and day hike!

TRIP STATS/SUMMARY/THOUGHTS TO FOLLOW…

2 thoughts on “PERU THE ABSURD, PART 2 (THE FINALE)

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